Goodbye to Ubuzima

Today was my last Ubuzima. It was sad, but I felt so loved! They presented me with all kinds of gifts and with a certificate of appreciation for my time serving them. Certificates are a BIG deal in Rwanda, so this certificate was a bigger deal than what you and I would normally think of. Mama Debra, Enoch, and Bright (Ubuzima leaders) all gave speeches about me, and they had some of the ladies come up and talk about why they were thankful for me and what I had meant to them. Then they all “laid hands” on me and prayed for me. A group of praying Rwandans is a unique experience. No praying to yourself in silence. Its every man for himself, praying out loud and passionately, all at once. Of course, I couldn’t understand any of it, but it was still special.

After Ubuzima, Natasha and David had a surprise for me. They took me to a movie! A theater had just opened and we had been wanting to go to a movie since I’d been there. Now it only had one screen, and was about half the size of a theater you’d find in the States, but still it was a movie on a big screen. So fun! And, Natasha finally got a picture of me on a motorcycle for those of you at home that can’t picture me on a moto, as we call them in Kigali. :)

A Big Opportunity to Bless

So you know how I/we have this ministry money to use? Money that’s part of my budget to be used to bless others in big ways? Well, I got to bless the pants off of someone special today! Bear with me, cause this entry is gonna be a long one, but I promise you’ll want to read it!!

As I’ve been preparing to leave Kigali, I’ve been tying up loose ends with my money. Like figuring out how much I need to keep for travel, what to leave behind for the ministries of ITeams-Rwanda, and what to do with my leftover ‘ministry’ money. In thinking about the ministry money, Mama Debra (leader of Ubuzima) keeps coming to my mind. She’s always been one of my favorite people in Rwanda, and I’ve always felt there was so much more to her to know than I do. So I’d been thinking and praying about giving a large sum of the money to Mama Debra. I mentioned it to Jen b/c I was I didn't want to make Debra uncomfortable or offend her. But Jen did nothing but encourage me to follow through with the Spirit’s leading!

Tonight was my going-away party, which was great – just a good time to be with all my Rwandan friends one last time. Mama Debra was one of the last people to leave. As I walked her out to the gate (the cultural thing to do that we mzungus often neglected), I stopped her and presented her with the envelope of money. I explained to her that I knew she was aware of the money we, as interns, had set aside to bless people. (Because she was head of Ubuzima, she saw us give it away all the time as that was where we found most of the opportunities for blessing) I told her that I had a lot of leftover money from that fund and that I wanted her to have it. The money was for her to use however she wanted. If she wanted to use it for Ubuzima, she could. But it was intended for her! I told her I didn’t know what her situation was, what her needs were, but that I felt like God was telling me to give this money to her, and to give her this specific amount. (Keep in mind that if this amount is a large amount to you and me, its huge for a Rwandan) I went on to explain how much she meant to me, and that she was one of my favorite people in Rwanda and that she would always be in my heart. I told her that I saw how much she gave endlessly to others, and how I wasn’t sure I had known anyone with more love. So I wanted her to receive back some of that love, some of the blessing she gave out to so many. She asked me a couple times, “this is for me?” I think it caught her off guard, she didn’t quite know what to say, but she was very grateful and just remained her calm, peaceful, beautiful self.

Not long after, Natasha and I were cleaning up from the party. Jen and Serge had left just a few minutes earlier, but a few minutes later I received a call from Serge. He asked me what I said to Debra when I walked her out, and I explained. While Jen knew my plans, Serge had no idea. It turns out that Debra, when she got home, opened the envelope with her family around her, and began sobbing. She called Serge in tears and just went on and on about how she couldn’t believe what I had done. Finally after he calmed her down, she told him what happened. And she told him why my kindness had been such a blessing to her. She would have called me herself, but her English is very minimal and she knew she wouldn’t be able to communicate with me like she wanted to.

Most people don’t know that Debra has a hard life. She seems so put together, always presents herself as not lacking or needing much. You’d never know she was struggling. And she’d probably never tell you, either. But as Serge explained from his conversation with her, last week Debra didn’t have money to buy food for her family. Its my understanding that Debra is one of the people that buys the food for the street kid feeding program, and I assume she uses this same vendor for purchasing supplies/food for Ubuzima as well. So because she has a very good relationship with this person, she pleaded with him to let her purchase food for her family on credit and she would pay for it the next Monday. Today is Sunday, tomorrow is the Monday that debt was due. Just that morning at church, she had had words with God about how she had this faith that God would provide, but that she didn’t know how she was going to be able to take care of this debt. And now, she can take care of it! Not only that, but just a few days ago her children had been kicked out of school because their school fees weren’t paid. So now, not only was Debra going to be able to pay off her debt for the food, but she would be able to pay her debt for the school fees and her kids would be able to go back to school without missing anything! AND, she was even going to have money left over to feed her family with no worries for the next month!

What makes this story even better, is that I almost didn’t give the money to her tonight. I was going to wait until Tuesday when I saw her at Ubuzima, but I just felt like now was the right time. Had I waited, she wouldn’t have been able to pay the debt on Monday. I love how much I listened to the Holy Spirit, and I didn’t even really realize I was doing it! And it meant so, so much more to be able to bless someone I loved and cared about and actually knew, as opposed to the rest of the people my ministry money had gone to. I mean, I knew them, but not like Mama Debra. She had a special place in my heart, and to be able to bless her in such an extraordinary way – just to be able to bless her period – meant a lot to me. I can’t stop thinking about it! I’m beaming. God is so good!

On American soil, but still in Rwanda ...

Not only did I get to celebrate my birthday in Rwanda this year, but I got to celebrate the 4th of July!

I just got back from a 4th of July picnic at the American Embassy. It was so surreal! Being on the grounds, it didn’t feel like I was in Africa at all. It felt like I was in the USA! It looked and felt different. I wasn’t used to all the green, green grass and so many white people in the same place all at once. And the building just looked like buildings in the States. I went inside and the bathroom made me feel so much at home!! I was told later that they have the building materials shipped over from the US! Now, in my opinion, that’s a little extreme, but anyway. There were hot dogs and hamburgers, chips and potato salad. Everything typical of a 4th of July barbeque. I had heard that sometimes the Marines have Dr. Pepper shipped over, but they said it didn’t get here in time this year. I would have been in heaven. There was also volleyball, and some other lawn games, but mostly it was all about socializing with the other Americans. I even saw someone I knew from the States! Sarah served with me in Malawi when I worked with Children of the Nations, and she was in Kigali on a short-term trip. We hadn’t seen each other since Malawi, and now here we were reunited in another African country. I think that’s pretty cool.

Anyway, it’ll definitely be a fun memory!

Preaching, Teaching, and Growth

Just a warning ... this is a long one, so bear with me.

Its been amazing to see the growth that's happened in me since my time in Malawi and even in seminary. I look at myself and think, "who is this person?!" One of the biggest surprises has been the fact that I taught a series on the covenants!

Seminary was one of the hardest, but most growing times of my life. One of the life-changing classes, and my favorite class, was Introduction to the Old Testament by Dr. Sandy Richter. Through her class, she gave me a new love of the Old Testament, when for so long I was scared of it, b/c of all the kings and wars and things that didn’t fit or make sense. One of the ways she helped “organize my closet” was in her presentation of the OT through covenants. There is a theme in the Bible of covenants, which I had never realized. It started with Adam and Eve, then to Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and finally Jesus (the New Covenant). I could go on and on about this, but perhaps reading the notes from my lessons would be better if you’re interested! I can feel myself starting to preach!

Dr. Richter recently published a book that essentially lays out her curriculum from the class, but is meant to be read by lay people. I brought The Epic of Eden with me to Rwanda but never would have guessed I'd use it in this way. Never would I have been able to remember all the details and teachings from the class that I want to share with others, so it was definitely a God thing that I brought it.

The entire week before I presented (or taught or preached-whatever you want to call it), all I did was prepare! I mean, it was practically 24-7! I didn’t leave the house. I skipped all of my normal activities and responsibilities. I don’t think I’ve worked that hard in the entire time I’ve been in Rwanda. There was SO much information and I remember so many times when I started to have a freak-out session because of all the things swimming in my head that I didn’t know how to translate in words and on paper.

It started out as being a sermon series, but then Jen needed more time for her series so we had to move my stuff back. But I’m leaving in a few weeks, so there wouldn’t be time to do it in 4 weeks. There was no way I could get it all into 2 weeks, so I kicked it off one Sunday, then we had two special teaching nights during the week (which where translated into Kinyarwanda), and the last was given the following Sunday at the English service at church. I was able to recreate some of the diagrams and maps from my class for PowerPoints (yep, we have PowerPoint in Rwanda) ... and they made quite an impression! The full-time missionary here and her husband have been excited about the series for awhile. And they given me great feedback! The pastor of the church has requested my notes to possibly teach it to the Kinyarwanda service - this is huge b/c the relationship between he and the mission organization I work with has been very strained for awhile. It was so fun to hear about light bulbs that were going off for people, connections they were making. And they say it all made sense, it wasn’t too academic or over-their-heads and were even teasing me about what this means for the future, that I should be a teacher. Dr. Richter always told us she wanted us to be able to simply “tell the story [of God], and tell it well.” That was her mantra. SO I'm telling the story, and telling it well!! And honestly, never in a million years did I think I'd be telling it like this. Maybe to friends here and there, but not to a church ... in RWANDA!
* * * *
Its really cool to look at this whole situation and see how much I’ve grown in the last several years. I know I mentioned that at the beginning of this blog, but its big; even just last year, I would have reacted so differently to so many things about this.
1) I would have never volunteered to do this on my own – to teach, let alone teach the material of Dr. Sandy Richter, material that intimidated the crap out of me!

2) I never once freaked out in all my preparations. So many times in seminary, when I didn’t know what I was doing or was overwhelmed by the material or frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t communicate what I wanted to, I would get so emotional. I would stop and cry and doubt myself and what I was doing. I would tell myself I couldn’t do it and was crazy for even trying. Eventually I would get out of that place and be able to do what I needed to do. But this time, none of that happened. Yes, I was overwhelmed by the material and workload and thoughts in my head, but I knew that it would all work out. There was a peace that remained with me the whole time ... I didn’t know how it was all gonna come together, but I knew it would. And it would be because of God. He would give me what I needed to say, and help me communicate like I needed to. I knew this. Yes, I doubted what I was doing, but I knew I could do it. And it was more of a funny “what have I gotten myself into?” than a serious one. Does that make sense? And finally …

3) in the days before I was to give the teachings/sermons, Serge had his doubts. He was concerned that it wouldn’t keep people’s attention and wouldn’t be received well. This had nothing to do with me personally, it was more of because of his own knowledge of how Rwandans work and how they respond to African preaching, rather than “white-girl” preaching. In the past, this would have torn me down. It would have made me doubt myself and fear would have taken control. It would have brought up so many negative feelings about myself. But this time, I was so confident! I kept telling Serge, “don’t worry, it’ll be good.” I didn’t let his anxiety make me upset, it just made me more confident about what I was doing. Isn’t that awesome? SUCH a change in me, and a big one!!

This teaching is probably the highlight of my time in Rwanda. The biggest and most rewarding thing I’ve done. Rewarding from the preparation to the delivery to the emotions tied to it. God’s been growing me, and maybe He needed to bring me to Rwanda to show me this one particular way I’ve grown.

Kamari Family

I've talked about Jen and Serge throughout my posts, and wanted to give them their own special entry! In case you missed it, they are the full-time missionaries with International Teams here in Kigali and have served as our leaders/mentors/friends. They're awesome, what more can I say. Although we love to cut up with Serge, he is one of the most genuine people I know and I'll never forget his grin. Jen - I'm grateful for her investment in my life (and the lives of Natasha/Jocelyn) and for her unconditional support ... I always felt so very validated in whatever I was feeling, which meant more than she'll ever know.

Isabella (one of 3 Kamari kids) - 3 going on 30!

God Provides

I’m thanking God a lot right now! I left my job in January to come here, knowing there was a good chance I wouldn’t get it back. But, they had told me that if they could, they would love to have me back but it just depended on their situation in July. Not long after I left for Rwanda, the economy took a huge downfall and they like many were affected, having to lay off a good amount of people. At that point I knew my chances of going back were slim. But it turns out since then, they’ve gotten some large projects and are in a lot better place financially ... and have offered me a postion to come back. So I have an income waiting for me when I get back; such relief!

God, again, has taken care of my needs … He is good!

Back to Malawi

I think I shared with you that I've been praying about going to Malawi while I'm in Africa to see some of the people I worked with when I was there a few years ago, particulary my dear friend and sister-in-Christ, Wezzie. Well, I went! It all happened very fast. Just a little over a week ago I was in town with David killing time before we had to go to Mama Bridgette’s, one of the street kids houses. So on a whim, I went to a travel agent that was in the “mall” we were in, just to see how much a ticket to Malawi would be. It turns out the airfare wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be – it was like $1000 cheaper! At that point, I couldn’t not do it ... I knew I’d regret it. So, I bit the bullet and made the trip! (Don’t worry, it was my own money, no supporter funds). Its been so good to reconnect with a few good Malawian friends. Wezzie and I have been trying to reunite ever since I left, and there've been several times it almost happened but every time a roadblock surfaced. So this was quite special to see each other again. Mada, one of the aunties (my favorite auntie, whom I had lost contact with) I worked with just had a baby - 4 days old - so I guess I picked the perfect time to visit! It was a short trip and I wish I could have visited more people, but it was still worth it. Good to be around people I love and to remember my time in Malawi in a new way.

(pictured: Wezzie, Mada, myself)

On a side note, Wezzie has hot water! Oooh, I've never felt so clean in my life. Pure bliss.

It was good to be back in Malawi. Sometimes it doesn't feel like i'm here, but just the thought of it is nice. I was hoping we'd get to go back to Chiwengo, the village where I spent time and where all the kids are. But its two hours away and their car is broken, so that is a problem. But as Wezzie and I were talking, I realized that a lot of the aunties aren't there anymore (got married, etc) and a lot of the kids are probably gone too, to secondary school, so it probably wouldn't be what I pictured anyway.

Its so weird to see Wezzie as a wife. She works like crazy - ALWAYS cooking or cleaning, in addition to her regular job. Being married has really made her grow up (she was quit naïve and childlike when I was with her in Malawi years ago), so although the same Wezzie is still there, she's different too. In a good way.

Funny story – before I left for Malawi, Serge kept telling me about how iTeams had a new staff person in Lilongwe. She was from Italy and was about to marry a man from Burundi, who would soon be on staff with iTeams as well. They had all met a couple months ago at the iTeams Africa conference. Well, turns out the guy lives behind Wezzie!!! The couple goes to their church! Wezzie started talking about her neighbor, about how he was about to marry an Italian, etc and I instantly knew they were the iTeams people Serge had talked about! I went outside and chatted with the guy for awhile and he later brought me a document to give to Serge when I returned to Kigali. I know Serge and Jen will flip out! Small world.

Wezzie’s church is the church I attended whenever our team in Malawi was in the city, so it was fun to be back there. SO many people spoke English! A lot of missionaries attend there, but Malawi’s second language is also English b/c they were settled by the English. So my entire trip to Malawi was interesting in that it almost felt like I was back home b/c of all the English (vs French in Rwanda) around me!

Being here, connecting with a good friend and being around those I love and am comfortable with, makes me miss my friends at home ... one in particular! But the good news is that it won’t be long till I’m back in their presence!