Spiritual Gifts

We’ve been going through the spiritual gifts at church since I’ve been in Rwanda and a couple Sundays ago we took a Spiritual Gifts Inventory. I’ve taken many of these "tests" and usually I get similar results. This time, sure enough, I got similar results BUT a couple gifts showed up that I’ve never had before – Wisdom and Leadership tied for #3.

I was kinda excited about Wisdom – it was a surprise, but a pleasant surprise. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be wise, right? My friends here and I have been joking about how they need to listen to me because I am wise! However, they have said there is some truth in their comments, that the things I say and advice I give is good advice ... that there is wisdom in my words! So, all of you at home? I guess the next time I talk, you better listen well! :)

Leadership? That was a big surprise! I’ve always been more of a follower than a leader – I mean, my top gift was Helper if that tells you anything. So the only thing I can figure is that maybe I’ve grown into the role of leader a little bit more over the last couple years. I’ve asked myself, “Has this always been a gift? Have I just not recognized it before? Or is it that it's not necessarily a gift, and the test lied! :) Can you learn your gifts? Or grow into them? If you grow into them, are they really gifts or are they 'learned behaviors'? Does God give you different gifts at different times according to your life situation? Can they change?” My answer is yes, they can change. Because we are on a journey in life and we never stay the same; God is molding us and making us into who He wants to be. So of course our gifts will change from time to time ... after all, they are “gifts” and not talents. Gifts are something given to us, not in our control.

Change is good!

Jocelyn's departure and the end of HW club brought about a schedule change for Natasha and I - and it has been just the boost we needed! The change has done us good and I feel revived and ready to go on a whole new level. Its almost like it’s a different internship. I've been tutoring a church member in some computer basics and have, surprisingly, been really enjoying it. I think it’s because it’s my niche - at home, admin work had become a burden but here I've discovered that maybe it really is a gift and that I DO actually enjoy it! So that computer lesson has turned into a class. Mostly I'll be teaching some ITeams staff so they are better able to do reports, etc, but there's a couple non-staff that will come too. I’m even going to do typing lessons! Oh, the memories of typing class in high school. Right now the computer classes are once a week, but could turn into more. And we’ll see what the attendance is like. It could go either way; I mean, we are in Africa. :)

I'm also preparing to preach a sermon series on the covenants of the Bible! You might remember that I was considering this, but now its official. I can't believe I'm doing this - not in a million years would I have pictured it, but I would have never pictured myself in Rwanda either! And this was even MY idea which is even crazier. I'm super nervous but excited at the same time. Its material I learned in my favorite class in seminary (for those who know it, Sandy Richter's Intro to Old Testament) and its been on my heart for awhile to share it with the people here. Its a rather daunting task as I put together all the details (there's a lot of them) and wrap my mind around how to communicate it, but here's where my faith comes in - where I trust that God will make it all come together, cause I surely can't communicate by myself! So please pray for me!!! My first "teaching" isn’t far away and I still have lots to prepare.

Last Day of HW Club

On Friday we had our last day of HW club. We each wanted to do something fun with our kids, rather than schoolwork, since they’d been working so hard. Well, mostly working hard. :) Jocelyn took her girls to get a Fanta at a restaurant down the street, Natasha made her kids balloon animals and ran around like a monkey, and I played UNO and Chutes & Ladders with my kids. They loved Chutes and Ladders!! The next day we had a big party for all the HW club kids and Kindergarten kids together - played tons of games, gave out sweets, and let a few balloons loose among them, which they loved and we had to stop b/c it got so rowdy. It was all bitter-sweet for me, as although I was ready to move on from this program, it was hard to say goodbye to the kids.

You remember me telling you about Aponere, my prize student who chose school over a home? That goodbye was rough ... at that time, he was still homeless and not sure what was going to happen, but he thanked me over and over again and said he'd always remember his teacher. Good news, though! I was back at Moureen's the next week and saw him and discovered he found a job washing clothes nearby that would also provide him shelter! Praise God!

Birthday Celebrations

For my 29th birthday, one of my best friends took me to see The Lion King; for my 30th birthday, I was taken on a scavenger hunt that ended with an awesome surprise party; and for my 31st birthday, I spent it in Rwanda! Um, I’m kinda afraid for my 32nd year ... it could potentially be a let-down after the last few years of celebrating!

Yesterday, in case you didn't figure out, was my birthday. All of the interns have had birthdays since we’ve been here, mine being the last, so we’ve kinda gotten into a routine with celebrating. Usually there’s decorating of the house, some kind of breakfast-in-bed sort thing, and a celebration that night. My breakfast? Chocolate fondue! It was great! I got a bag of goodies, too … my roomies are awesome! Then, we got dressed and went out for housevisiting. I guess word had gotten out that it was my birthday because one of the ladies we visited gave me a bag of fruit for my birthday! I mean, if you think about it, she gave me the fruit she would normally be earning her income off of to feed her kids! It was so sweet ... As for the nightly celebration, my roommates/fellow interns have had lots of fun trying to surprise me, but I kinda suspected it would be at a Chinese restaurant. I had told them a couple times I wanted to go have dinner at a Chinese place for my birthday. So after lots of hoopla and acting as if there was not going to be a party, that we were just hanging out at Jen and Serge’s house, we all ended up at one of the nicest Chinese places in town. Some of my closer Rwandan friends were there, probably about 14 of us total. It was the first time some of the Rwandans had had Chinese food, so that was fun.

Then, today at the street kids feeding, I got another birthday surprise. David, our best Rwandan friend and translator, didn’t come to my party and I gave him grief about it! So to make it up to me, he had the ladies preparing the food that day make a plate of rice with beans carefully placed in a circle around the top of the rice. They came out singing Happy Birthday with one large candle in the middle of the makeshift birthday cake. At the end of the song, I blew out my candle and “cut” my cake with a huge cutting knife! I was also chased down with a cup of water – a Rwandan tradition for birthdays is to pour water on the birthday girl/boy. I have to give David props, he made it up to me and gave me an awesome story to tell in the future!

This isn't goodbye?

Today we told the kids at Moureen’s that this week was the last week of HW club and Kindergarten. A lot of them knew that the property was being sold and they were having to vacate, but some didn’t. So we tried to explain as best we could and they seemed to take it pretty well – at least on the outside. Some of the older ones asked several times, “so we will not see you after this?” We told them that for Jocelyn, yes, because she was going home, but for Natasha and I, we would still be around the area and would stop by to visit when we could. But honestly, I don’t know how practical that is – some of them are pretty spread out in the area so I wonder if we’ll even see them again. ITeams still wants to keep some sort of weekly program to stay connected to the kids they support in school, so Natasha will probably help out with that when we figure out what it looks like. Its weird … I feel kinda numb to it all. Seems like I should be so sad that this is goodbye to these kids. But maybe, again, I’ve put up that emotional wall of protection. And maybe, too, I know that there is still opportuntity for me to see them somehow, someway. I’m not dropping off the face of the earth.

I do have to say I’m gonna wonder about Aponere especially. He’s still homeless, but he seemed to be doing a lot better when I talked to him today. He’s been able to eat, and his cough is better … but he’s still homeless. Thing is, this kid seems to not be fazed by it. Its like life as normal. And even if he wasn’t okay with things, I don’t think he’d tell me. AND, he didn’t ask for more handouts, when he knew I probably had more money to give. That’s what makes me respect him that much more … and have that much more hope that he will make it in this messed up world.

** On a side note: I made flash cards for my kids this week with their multiplication tables. Wanted them to get away from looking on the back of their book or having to "think" through it. They LOVED this! They were yelling out the answers and trying to be the first to yell them out. They'd get excited when they were getting close to the answer. It was crazy! But, alas, I wouldn't be able to do this for a whole other month, so I think it was a good ending to my "teaching" time with them.

Times are a changin'

Today we met with Jen to talk about the coming week – this is Jocelyn’s last week in Rwanda so amidst her final preparations, some of our programs are ending too. Looks like next week after she leaves, Natasha and I will basically re-work our schedule. HW club is coming to an end on Saturday. We figured it was a good time for some closure since Jocelyn is leaving and we don’t know how long we’d be able to continue to hold HW club on that property … and Natasha and I are ready for a change anyway.

*Moureen’s*
People are making preparations to leave Moureen’s property, or at least trying. A lot of them have come to Serge telling him they have no place to go … and what do you tell them, ya know? Its just impossible to find homes for everyone; its even becoming impossible to find homes for just a few.

*Preaching???*
Jen was talking about how the sermon series is about to come to an end at the English service. Said they wanted to do something completely different – they’ve been talking about spiritual gifts. And said she was open to any insights/ideas we had. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself asking if they were open to others speaking … aka, me. I mentioned how I had taken this Old Testament class in seminary that I absolutely loved, and the professor had written a book on it, which I had with me. And I had thought of teaching about the different covenants in the OT and how they were all connected to our story of redemption in Jesus. It was kinda like an out-of-body experience. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing myself say … whoa, whoa, Emily, you are offering to preach! And preach on the OT, stuff that could easily be gobbly-guk in your head!

So I haven’t committed to it yet, I have this week to think about it. But I think I already know that I’m gonna do it … I’m just trying to live into what came out of my mouth.

Because He Lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds my future,
and life is worth the living just because He lives.

I never really liked this hymn … until now. It's taken on a whole new meaning since I’ve been hear and I think will now be a favorite. They sing it a lot at the English service … seems like they sang it nearly every Sunday for my first couple months in Rwanda. But, oh, it got me through so much! I remember in my first months, some days I didn’t think I could do it and I didn’t face another day. And I was afraid of things I couldn’t even name. I just didn’t feel like myself. This song reminded me that Jesus was with me every step of the way, that I wasn’t alone. That it was through him that I could get through it; that he had already taken away the fear; that he knew my future--each hour, day, and year; that I could trust him and praise him; and most of all, that if put my focus on HIM and not on myself, everything would be more than okay! And when I thought that way, when I sang those words, I would be at peace – even if just for a few minutes – and was most always brought to tears.

So today, when we sang it again, I remembered those times of trials and what was going through my mind when we sang it before. Remembered the person I was then, and the person I am now. Both the same and different. And this time when I sang the song, just like the observations of my own self, the song meant both the same things and different things. It’s kinda like I was able to sing it with more confidence now … before I sang it with that blind faith, with eyes closed to everything that is and would be. But today I sing it with more of an eyes-opened faith. A faith that has little more knowledge or trust. A faith that is still faith, but not as much of a “help my unbelief” faith. I’m sure I’ll be back in that unbelief stage at some point—I think we all migrate back there from time to time—but for now, I’ll enjoy the peace that comes with the knowing and seeing that God has indeed held my future these last several months (and more) and taken care of me and gotten me through each and every tomorrow. He has conquered my fear and laments … and has conquered this big, bad world because, simply, He lives!